Friday, October 24, 2008

If: The Grim (Re'Pair)...He's French...Wa Ha Ha...



Okay...the story...Today was inservice day which usually results in spectacular meetings...for hours on end...for some reason during these meetings I tend to draw a lot of pictures involving death...so low and behold when I checked the IF topic it was 'repair'...and the image immediately popped into my head. So I sketched it out and along came the dental teacher...and the following is the mesmerizing conversation that occurred.

DT..."Who is that"
Me in my best French voice..."It is the Grim Repair...(insert bad stereotypical French laugh)"
DT..."I don't get it."
Me..."Well you know the French talk funny so instead of saying Reaper it would sound like repair...and then they laugh bad."
DT..."But you talk funny and you aren't from France...you're from West Virginia...and why is he dressed like that."
Me..."Because he is the French Grim Reaper."
DT...'Oh, I get it now...but who is the guy on the ground and why is he laying there like that?"
Me..."It is a French person...and he is dead...because that is what the Grim Repair does..."
DT..."But why is the dead person dressed like that?"
Me..."Because he is a mime...""
DT..."But why is he a mime?"
Me..."Because everyone that lives in France is a mime...that is how their society is."
DT..."Oh...do you think other people of your kind will get it?"
Me..."Yes, I think they will...because people of my kind are observant and usually a little bit tilted...not that you aren't tilted and all but well...you teach people how to brush their teeth..."

Two hours later at another meeting the Dental Instructor was sitting beside of me and an English teacher.
DT..."See if he gets it."
I show the picture and ask him if he gets it.
English Teacher in his best French voice..."Why it is the Grim Repair...(insert bad French laugh)...
DT..."Whatever"...rolls eyes.
Me..."Oh, we're not done...Ken, why is this guy on the ground and dressed like he is?"
ET..."Because the Grim Repair expires folks...and the guy on the ground is French...which makes him a mime...because everyone in France is a mime...that is their whole population."
At this point the dental teacher shakes her head and tells us whatever...and I really French it up and add a poodle...because all French people...who are mimes of course...own dogs...and those dogs are poodles...because that is the only type of dog there is in France...and because the mime was coming back from market at the time of his expiration he had the only things that French people buy because that is all they eat...French bread and a bottle of wine...and everyone lives near the Eiffel Tower, so I threw that in...(although I couldn't talk the Dental teacher into leaving the meeting to get me a reference picture so I just had to wing it...)

THE END

Saturday, October 18, 2008

IF:The REAL reason the topic was sent late...


"Egad!!! I threw my back out again at the all night midget toss and brussel sprout buffet...It'll take me hours to drag myself to the computer to send out the topic..."

Yeah, we've got people watching you Penelope...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

IF:No Strings Attached?


So she says to me...'Mike, without a long term commitment I won't even give you a kiss'..So I says to her 'Sure thing toots, til death do us part'...and I'm laughing to myself and thinking,'Boy I sure got over on her...I'm a housefly, how long of a commitment could it be...'

Sunday, October 05, 2008

IF: Sugary


"Well, look at the bright side...If we have to turn to cannibalism no one is going to complain about a disgusting taste..."